Okay now I’ll just get on with it since it will likely take you longer to read this that it took me to write it…
When I last left off in early August, Geri had just left back to Japan and Rufio was still around in Bangkok for another week, along with Eugene, who had spent almost a month in Thailand already. Rozen can be quite a character, in a good way, and as you can see pictured below, he has a special relationship with Rufio.
The three of us and Rufio’s coworker, Ken, decided to take a spontaneous weekend trip to Pattaya, the so-called beach playground of Bangkok, a couple hours drive south. Pattaya is pretty much the sleaziest and tackiest town in Thailand, built mainly around girlie bars and cheap touristy activities. At least that is the Pattaya I heard about, and that is certainly the Pattaya we experienced!
We got there in the late afternoon and thought it would be a good idea to try out some outdoor go-karting. Man, that shit was so fun, but extremely ghetto and unsafe! No helmets, no seat belts, 5x faster than any go-kart I had driven in the States, and I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and flip flops. When you hit the accelerator hard, you got whiplash and your eyes wanted to roll slightly back in your head. It was great though, and despite spinning out multiple times, by the end of the 15 minutes (which felt like 45), I was thoroughly satisfied with my 800 baht (24ish dollars – a lot for most things in Thailand).
Before hitting the full-on girlie bars, we decided to check out the one big legit party in Pattaya – the foam party at the Hard Rock Hotel. We were all foam party virgins and it was actually pretty damn fun.
There were a few Pernod Ricard (the biggest competitor to Diageo, and a bloody FRENCH company too) Promo-Girls there, but I forgave them because they were 1) hot, and 2) said they liked Johnnie Walker too. Here you have Rufio being swindled from his cash by a beautiful face. What warm-blooded dude could resist a 50 baht shot from these gals? Come on! I mean that in an entirely non-creepy way.
We then proceeded to “Walking Street,” where all the sleezy little pubs were but the only other place in town we knew of that had late night action. We basically drank like crazy, then separated with different crowds around 3am, and returned back to our hotel room by ourselves between 7-8:30 am the next day. I came back to find Rufio in bed half-naked and wide-awake at 7am. The line “Dude, I just got home 10 minutes ago and I drank waaay too much Red Bull. Let’s go to the beach” will be forever etched into my memory when I think of Pattaya. We set up camp in the sand and chilled for an hour before coming back to the room to find Rozen, who surprisingly was still alive even after I had talked to his “motorbike taxi driver” in broken Thai multiple times with directions that she could not seem to follow.
Here you’ve got Rozen and I pulling off the “Thai squat” for 10 seconds before falling over, and we were cheating by being on the curb. So many Thai (and generally Asian) people can perform this amazing feat of flexibility and balance by squatting almost ass-to-ground for hours on end. WTF!? If a part of human evolution, this skill has definitely been lost in the Western gene pool.
So Rozen and Rufio take off a couple days later. I think they had a good experience in Thailand, especially Rozen who had a full month and time to travel around to many diverse parts of the country. He traveled like most Americans unfortunately don’t – really attempting to learn the language, unafraid to meet and interact with locals, and uninhibited to try new and different things. I have a feeling he’ll be back one day fo sho. I hope Rufio comes back too since he only got to see Bangkok and was working most of the time, but how awesome is it to get a short term assignment abroad paid for by your company? Hey, we partied like mad when we could.
The next week I flew off to Singapore for a business trip. My local distributor partner had a big launch party for their flagship malt whiskey (Singleton) and the Diageo Reserve brands (Ciroc, Tanqueray no. 10, and Don Julio). It was an exclusive, post little event where I got to do a lot of schmoozing with people in the alcohol trade and nightlife scene. Met a beautiful young Slovakian model named Zuzana (picture middle below) whom I got along with really well. To make a long story short, I blew it at the end of the night when I decided to be a good pal and stay at the venue to celebrate my friend Harry’s birthday at midnight. Turns out he wouldn’t have cared if I left! Oh well…
It was also National Day in Singapore while I was around. Nothing much to report on, just some fireworks, huge crowds, and a lot of National pride for a young, very multicultural small nation (Malays, Indians, and Chinese). Was fun, but I didn’t go crazy since I had early meetings the next day that I needed to speak a lot in. In Diageo, everyone can tell when you are hung-over!
The view from the Scarlet Hotel, Singapore.
I should also mention that Richard, the other young guy (25yo) in the company that had helped mentor me when I first arrived and showed me the ropes, left Diageo around that week to go be a lawyer in London. The time had come when his window on a law career was closing so he decided to take it. Really nice, smart, friendly guy from Australia that Diageo will sorely miss in Asia. He had been around for 3 years, longer than 90% of all Diageo employees in the region, and his success as a young graduate probably paved the way for my own hiring. He gave me a bon-voyage almost-full bottle of Blue Label, and I think I’ll cheers to him when I get back to BKK this weekend.
Back in Thailand, my good friends Steve, Vadim, and Mike finally arrived that weekend after what seemed like an eternity of build-up hype for their visit. Steve I’ve known since the 3rd grade, Vadim since middle school, and Mike since high school. Basically we know each other well, and were in the same crew for a while. These guys are almost like pseudo-brothers to me. So they shelled out a few thousand dollars to have a blast in Thailand and I made sure Thailand would deliver.
We started out with a short weekend in Bangkok so you know what that means – partying with multiple bottles of Johnnie Walker in high energy, loud clubs with a bunch of my local friends. Okay the first thing we did was have lunch with Katie at a really Thai local place. She proceeded to make fun of me as always but the grub was delicious and the guys didn’t have any problem trying out the dishes.
At night we ventured to a Thai live band joint called Jet, in Thong Lor. I’ve mentioned it a few times in this blog, and I had promised Rufio I would take Vadim there. It was a nice introduction to the dominant genre of clubs in Bangkok for the guys, who had never really been to a club where everyone has their own semi-private table and a bottle or two of brown spirit on it (in this case, 100% Johnnie). Plus the Thai rock music in the club was quite unique for them – we really need more places like this in California!
Lea punching me for…for…what the hell did I do? I'm not sure now, but I probably cracked an obnoxious joke on her.
I love these girls, they are like my sisters.
The next day I took the guys to Chutuchuk Weekend Market (also known as JJ market), the biggest open-air market in SEA. You can find ANYTHING here, from DVDs to furniture to designer jeans to puppies to books/magazines to
Vadim and Steve mugging in front of some small shops at JJ
That night we went clubbing at Route 66 in RCA (Royal City Avenue), one of the largest nightlife spots in BKK for people under 30 and a Johnnie Walker stronghold. Tons of whiskey, ladies, and good music amounted to a drunken night of good times. After the club closed around 2, we went to get some cheap ass dim sum across the street and then discovered a semi-secret after hours house-music club called Jazzit behind the restaurant building. We went in, grabbed a table, ordered a shisha pipe and a bottle of Red Label and went to work. It was insane! Somewhere along the night I started saying “T.I.T. bitches – This Is Thailand.” It became the motto of the trip and basically means – lots of normal crazy shit happens in Thailand that does not happen in the Western world, and hey you are in Thailand so do as the Thais do and try as much as you can!”
Pep and the guys at Route 66
We didn’t get to sleep until 6am, and Vadim didn’t sleep at all because at 7am the guys had to get up and catch a bus from hell to Chiang Mai, the 2nd biggest city in Thailand, located 8+ hours to the northwest. I felt like death at work that day, but apparently the guys were “lucky” enough to sit up front next to the loudspeakers on the bus, so they didn’t really sleep at all despite the long journey. Suckaaaaas, at least they didn’t have to concentrate. I still haven’t been to Chiang Mai, which is supposed to be much smaller and less developed, and charming in a Thai sort of way. The guys said they had fun, and one day got to trek through the jungle on elephants and bamboo rafts. I think it is a must do for me before I leave Thailand one day, and even more convenient that my buddy Kieran lives up there.
At the end of the week I took a couple days off to meet the fellas in Phuket, the biggest beach resort destination in Thailand, about 80 mins by plane SW of Bangkok. I dropped my crap off at our Bangla Road hotel and went straight to the crazy clubs of Patong (kind of like Pattaya actually, but the only main developed town for tourists on Phuket and fun place to party for what it is). At club Seduction I met a couple nice girls that went to my friend Ally’s old school. We also met up with Ally’s old friend Thomas whom I had seen Harry Potter with in Bangkok a couple weeks before when he was up to visit (no not together!).
Between 12am-1am is 30 baht drinks happy hour. That is less than a dollar for a vodka/red bull, red label/coke, gin/tonic, etc. Needless to say, we STACKED UP.
Mayo and Stacey, two of the only girls in Seduction that were NOT prostitutes, and they obviously knew how to take advantage of happy hour and then have a great time!
The next hung-over morning/afternoon, we took an extremely overpriced taxi to a paintball arena. Yea, all taxis in Phuket are a rip-off and I can’t stop complaining about them. They are pretty much mafia controlled and taxi-meters aren’t really tolerated by them on the island. So to travel someplace that would cost 60 baht in Bangkok, it is 500 baht in Phuket. Fuckers. Anyway, we strapped on some nasty gear and played 2 v 2 outdoor paintball for half an hour. In the end, Vadim and I beat Davos and Steve by 1 shot. There were a few hits on both sides that just bounced off us, so who knows who really won. But during the game, Steve and Vadim proceeded to have their own little sniper war in the bushes while Davos and I charged guns blazing. We ran out of bullets soon thereafter and had to wait 15 mins until Vadim and Steve were done wiping the manure camo they had applied to their faces while hiding in the trees waiting for the other to blink. Hahaha….
Vadim had an urge to fire a .45 pistol, so we walked to the shooting range nearby and he went ape shit. I almost wanted to try the rifle or a shotgun, but my wallet was hurting and the place was kind of pricey.
This guy is only a few lessons away from the KGB.
That night we tried out some of the pubs instead of the clubs of Patong. These pubs are dirty, real dirty. Basically there are thousands of hookers hanging round and lots of girls in skimpy outfits dancing on poles on the bar tops. They aren’t stripping though, they are just dancing…badly. The hookers aren’t very aggressive either, so if you look like you want to be left alone, most of the time you will be.
And if it looks like you want to hang out with a hot ladyboy, s(he) will come! T.I.T., remember? We also watched Liverpool tie Chelsea 1-1 (Chelsea got a cheap ass penalty that the ref should never have given them), then Ratto and I played classic drinking games with each other and the bartenders like Connect Four and “roll the dice and drink.”
We took a trip to the beach the next day and tossed around a small plastic football. Where were we, Santa Cruz? The weather was shit the whole weekend but at least it wasn’t rainy at the moment and the water is never cold.
We also went to go see a famous “cultural show” called Phuket Fantasea, which was actually a quite entertaining Las Vegas-style performance with music, dancing, elephants, fake fighting, circus-like acrobatics, and a strange love story. We couldn’t take pictures inside, but I made sure to get this snapshot before we went in of a Fantasea character drinking a Singha beer (local no. 1 lager).
On our last night in Phuket we went partying at Banana, the oldest club in Patong and only 75% hooker infested (we actually met a couple tourists from London), and then Tiger (a hooker paradise). Tiger was really fun though because Vadim and I ended up dancing on top of a table with a pole in the middle with a couple girls while totally trashed. Won’t forget the maniacally happy look on his face. Oh yeah, earlier in the night we passed by the spot on Bangla Road where all the ladyboys hangout, and Vadim took a picture with two of them as a souvenir. One of the she-dudes even took off their top to reveal double D cantaloupes! Hilarious, but I obviously can’t put that picture up here.
Next day we hit some golf balls at the driving range (oh, I suck by the way and ALWAYS slice it to the right, short or far). Sometime after that we returned to Bangkok, as work did call and the guys had enough of hooker-town, as they called Patong.
The swing looks better than it really was.
Timeout: checkout this sticker I see in Taxi’s from time to time. Only in Thailand would you have such a graphic and obvious sign, haha. Kind of scary too. FYI drunk driving is a huge problem in Thailand that really does not get enough scrutiny or enforcement. Pay a cop 1000 baht tops and you can get away with any traffic violation.
So the guys and I had a few more days in Bangkok together and we definitely made the most of it. I won’t go through all the details of the sites they saw (and they saw most of them), but I WILL of course show pictures of our partying, go figure.
Bed Supperclub on a Tuesday night – hip hop and a pretty crowd.
You know I couldn’t let the guys leave without a visit to Santika with the best live cover band in Bangkok. They did a couple really good Linkin Park songs that night too.
Pre-partying with our good friends Gold Label and Blue Label. Don’t spill a bloody drop!
This Is Thailand (T.I.T.) baby!
A beer garden with excellent fresh seafood at Suan Lum Night Market.
Oh yeah, we did actually go to the Golden Mountain together…pretty nice view of the city outskirts.
We also saw about 6 Muay Thai matches on a Friday evening, one of which turned into a super exciting blood fest that would have been stopped so early if it happened in America. We were betting small change on the fights all night, and poor Steve ended up paying off Vadim and I with a bitter face, haha.
One night I went to Sirocco with Steve and my buddy Pond, who brought a friend whose name in Thai means Spider. A couple of my coworkers showed up by coincidence and we opened a few bottles of wine. By the way, Sirocco is that super posh rooftop bar at the State Tower where my favorite views of Bangkok can be seen from. The wine was not cheap, but my coworkers are ballers and paid for it all.
There was also a JW Black Label party, Johnnie Walker Unseen, at Slim in RCA that week. Tons of celebs, hiso’s, VJs, industry people, and general party-goers were there, as well as the no.1 hip hop group in Thailand, Thaitanium, who gave a pretty cool performance. Same old same old for these JW events in Bangkok.
I don’t know what they have to do with Johnnie Walker, but sometimes it is best not to ask too many questions.
Ally getting a drink – stick your hand in the lion’s mouth and make the corresponding symbol with your fingers to “magically” get your JW mixed drink of choice (soda water, coke, on the rocks, etc).
Chillin’ at someone else’s table @ Slim that we jacked.
At the end of the night it was only Steve and I left behind and we ended up getting a ride from a nice Thai girl with a Lexus SUV. That car has like 300% tax in Thailand – so she was a loaded hiso for sure, but sweet for once.
The guys left not long after that, with a lot of great stories to tell and look back on I hope. I have to give them props for coming halfway across the world to see me and what it’s like to live in this beautiful, albeit very DIFFERENT, developing country. I’ll never forget that, and I kind of miss those bastards even now. I have lots of friends here but you can never replace your old pals that you’ll probably still be friends with if you’re lucky enough to be old and gray.
Speaking of friends – Bonnie, Karen, Mai, and Lea all left back to their 3rd or 4th years at College around the world, leaving me with that many less fun people to party with. The summer was more fun with those wonderful cats around, and I really hope I see them again. Mark is leaving soon too, that son of a bitch! What the hell am I gonna do!? Hehe…
Just to touch on work for a bit – there is an ongoing reorganization of Southeast Asia in Diageo right now. My main boss is moving to a role in Chengdu, China, and this new guy is instituting a market-based structure of the region. Basically I’m going to have to focus on one market rather the 4 I am commuting to right now. That also means I will probably have to physically be in that market. Nothing is for certain right now, but it is possible that I could move to Saigon or Kuala Lumpur in a few months. I love Bangkok but will be very hard pressed to find a longer term role for me here since I don’t speak fluent Thai and the few expats that ARE here are very senior. Good news is, I will probably have a contract extension and a longer term role with Diageo. At least it’s a reassurance that I must be doing well thus far. Vietnam is also the 13th most populous country in the world at 85 million and its economy is growing at 8% a year (that is really fast).
I’ll keep everyone posted for sure when I find out what might happen. Such is the life working for a multinational big company. PS I got a little raise and a bonus, and now my title is Commercial Executive.
I think one day it would be great to work and live in Tokyo. I’ve always been fascinated by Japanese culture and if I ever get an opportunity there before I’m 32ish, I’ll seize it. My Japanese language skills are really rusty but I can refresh and learn fast. I love Japanese food, and hey, two of my girlfriends have been Japanese (but American)! It will probably be a while before I can get over there though, which is fine with me - I'm not even 23 yet. I love Bangkok, wouldn’t mind trying KL or Saigon, and would love to live and work in Hong Kong for a couple years to be close to my Dad and little brothers before they grow up.
I recently got a Johnnie Walker Black Label credit card. It gives me discounts at all our contracted outlets (basically everywhere I go already) and there are a few other little perks. I figured that since I didn’t have a Thai credit card, I might as well get this one. It was made for my lifestyle!
I went go-karting in Bangkok a couple times with friends (Troy, Ally, Chen-Yu, Rafa…) since I liked it so much in Pattaya. There is an indoor track at RCA that has cars not quite as fast as the death traps down south. Speaking of the south, in a taxi on the way to RCA once I spoke to a Thai taxi driver that had a PERFECT Texas accent, it was amazing! I couldn’t believe how clearly and authentically he said “Hey, you there, ya’ll come back now ya hear!” and “How you doin son? You want a piece of me?” His English wasn’t even good, and when he didn’t say those few lines, I was actually speaking to him in Thai, LOL. This city is full of surprises...
…like the surprise that there are hardly any eligible women (in my eyes) for serious relationships. I’ve been quite frustrated by the lack of attractive, intelligent, sincere/honest, mentally healthy, fun young women that I meet in Bangkok. There is always something missing! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in a big rush to find a serious girlfriend, but hey I’m not opposed to it at this point. I miss that companionship and deeper level of understanding and conversations that doesn’t come with casual relationships. I don’t think my standards are too high either – many of my foreign friends that have been living here have the same damn problem. I won’t proceed to list ALL the freakin’ criteria I hope to find in a woman (can we just start with, “normal?”) or keep bitching about this topic too much – after all, I could have a lot bigger problems.
As I’ve heard many times, “It’s easy to find sex in Thailand, but it’s HARD to find love.” The pool of girls that fit what I’m looking for is very very small, and I really haven’t met more than a few potentials actually. No one introduces me either, which is a bit of a shame, but I guess if you want anything done you’ve got to do it yourself, right?
A few weeks ago I saw Paul Van Dyke, the current no.1 trance DJ in the world, at RCA. It was a sick performance, and this guy really knows how to work a crowd with his heart-thumping, seizure-inducing beats. In a couple weeks Armin Van Buren, the no.2 trance DJ, will be in Bangkok too. Tickets please!
I've been listening to some new music from the America lately, and a lot of Thai rock bands you will probably never have heard of. Yellowcard and Sum 41 have some good "new" albums. All Time Low and Paramore are worth a look too.
Last weekend I couldn’t help but go back to Phuket for a couple days with Ally, Brigitte, and Chrissie. We met up with Thomas and Mayo again and had a much-needed break from city living. I watched South Africa thrash England in the Rugby World Cup unfortunately…it just isn’t the same team that won in 2003. “Swing low, sweet chariot…”
Chrissie and I at a familiar little place in Patong – Seduction!
I got a really nice room at the Le Meridien for a couple nights on a travel agent discount (60 bucks a night when it should have been ~200).
Yes, I really did get a Johnnie Walker striding man henna tattoo (lasts for about 2 weeks). I love working for this old bastard and drinking the product that much! Keep Walking baby…
The weather was shitty again but at least the waves were good and I got to hit the surprisingly warm-water beach. I love the ocean, and could mess around in it for hours. Mayo almost drowned though and couldn't hang (just kidding! ;P ). The ocean is a stress relief only 2nd to working out…and maybe one other thing, yea.
The only real negative of the weekend was that on Sunday afternoon in heavy rain, a discount airline from Bangkok crashed when attempting to land and over 80 people, mostly tourists, were killed. At least 30-40ish people survived, badly injured, but it was a horrific, unfortunate tragedy and any one of us could have been in. Scary too, since I travel all the time. Like I always say, live life to the fullest. You never know when your time is up, and you don’t know if you’ll ever get a second chance. Adopting this attitude in the past couple years has given me more confidence, less fear, more adventurism, and a better appreciate for what I’ve got and the people I care about. I won’t tell you how to think, but just consider for a moment, how mortal you really are. Take that risk, tell that person how much you care about them, be who you want to be – what have you got to lose besides more time?
I miss my family quite a bit sometimes, and I’m glad to have just made concrete plans to come back to San Francisco from Dec 19th (the day before my birthday) until Jan 5th. I will definitely need a long vacation by then, and I’m looking forward to catching up with everybody. I’ll go to Hong Kong for a week in mid-November (9th to 17th) to see friends and family too. Can’t wait!
I’ll leave you now with the cover of Expat Weekend’s August issue. Remember that modeling shoot I did for a weekend in Hua Hin a couple months ago? That is me and Katie, and Troy’s adorable son Sebastian. We are apparently on the cover for September too and in a few articles, but I haven’t seen that yet.
Do rae tua aeng krup – Take care of yourselves!
